Top Comments at the Olympics

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators at the Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weight-lifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'

Young Michael Phelps

It's Bawlmer Hon

The coach put together the perfect team for the Baltimore Ravens. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a satisfactory QB to ensure a Super Bowl victory.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm.

He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another grenade from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour.

'I've got to get this guy!' coach said to himself. 'He has the perfect arm!' So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football and sure enough the Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.

'Mom,' he says into the phone, 'I just won the Super Bowl!'

'I don't want to talk to you,' the old Afghan woman says. 'You have disappointed us. You are not my son!'

'Mother, I don't think you understand,' pleads the son, 'I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!

'No! Let me tell you,' his mother retorts, 'at this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get assaulted! I can never forgive you for making us move to Baltimore!'