Hinckley To Be Released

You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan. There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from John McCain that the staff at the mental facility, that was treating Hinckley, reports to
have intercepted this document last weekend:

__________________________________________________________

October 9, 2008
To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

My wife Cindy and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best Wishes,
John and Cindy McCain

PS: Barack Obama has been fucking Jodie Foster. I thought you should know.

Blood Pressure

A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic items.

'How much do you weigh?' she asks.

'115,' she says.

The nurse puts her on the scale.

It turns out her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?'

'5 foot 8,' she says.

The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5'.

She then takes her blood pressure

And tells the woman it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' she screams,

'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'